Listening to children is a very important aspect of communication. Irrespective of whether a child is neurotypical or neurodiverse, communication cannot exist between an adult and a child without active listening.

Listening versus hearing

There is a clear distinction between these two actions. Hearing is a casual surface level activity, we have the option of filtering out information when we hear something and don't like it or relate to it or just zone out.

On the contrary, listening is listening with your whole being, being present, being mindful, holding a respectful space, attentive to body language and emotions, if possible leading to an action point.

When to listen?

If you are an adult around an autistic child, learning to listen is a skill that will take the communication a long way. Only when they listen, the adult can translate the atypical communication into something they understand, sometimes teach the child communication that works for them in any environment and keeps the conversation going.

What happens when we don't listen?

Communication cannot exist without a partner. We cease to be a partner, therefore, the child stops trying and may withdraw from the relationship.

What happens when we learn to listen?

Wonders! Wonderful conversations and relationships. Makes children confident communicators and to take control of their regulation. Here is an example.

A 4 year old child does not speak, uses Avaz to communicate. The therapist was reading a book to her. She seemed little distant. This is the conversation on Avaz.

Therapist: Are you okay? Child: No

Therapist: How are you feeling? Child: Tired.

Therapist: Do you want a break? Child: Yes.

They go and take a break, play for sometime and come back. Then,

Therapist: How are you feeling now? Child: Happy

Therapist: Shall we do the activities? Child: Yes

If the therapist had ignored the nonverbal communication from the child in the form of her being dull and unengaged, continued with the activity, that could have led to lot of unhappiness, distress, resentment towards learning and a sense of helplessness.

Learning to listen take immense effort on part of the adult. It is a practice that is cultivated with mindfulness. We need to keep these dialogues going, let's strive towards learning to listen.